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Ask Your Fairygodmentor: How To Manage Up When You’re Remote

December 12, 2025
in Business
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Ask Your Fairygodmentor: How To Manage Up When You’re Remote
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by BLACK ENTERPRISE Editors

December 12, 2025

You deserve a stable relationship together with your supervisor

Pricey Fairygodmentor,

I wrestle to construct a robust relationship with my supervisor in a completely distant position. How do I handle up successfully?– Distant however Current

Pricey Distant however Current,

I overstand how you’re feeling about wanting to construct a stronger relationship together with your supervisor. Distant work could make even the best communication really feel like an Olympic sport! You’re not imagining issues. Constructing belief via a laptop computer display is more durable. You’re in all probability considering “However Fairygodmentor®, managing up remotely is unattainable! It may possibly’t be performed!”

I’m going to sound like a 3 a.m infomercial – however this CAN be performed, however provided that you’re working with intention. Let me present you ways.

Begin With Readability, Not Guesswork

I’d wish to counsel you do one thing which will really feel a bit awkward and unsettling – arrange a short alignment dialog. I extremely counsel that you simply arrange common one-on-one conferences together with your supervisor in order that this will likely be much less awkward sooner or later.

Certainly one of my Fairygodmentors made an incredible doc that I personalized for my managers and it really works like a allure. It’s referred to as a “How I Like To Be Coached Kind.” It shares all the issues that I would like from my supervisor to be the very best I will be.  It’s additionally administration gold – I offered every of my workforce members a replica in order that I can discover ways to greatest talk with them. 

On this state of affairs, you possibly can flip the script and ask your supervisor how they like to speak, too. This takes out all the ambiguity of attempting to learn your supervisor’s thoughts as you each go about your day.

All the time make an agenda. Have a script of questions that you simply’d wish to ask them. These questions may sound like:

• How do you favor to speak?

• What helps you’re feeling knowledgeable however not overwhelmed?

• What’s one factor that I can do that will make your life simpler as my supervisor?

Present Your Work – Visibility With out Being “Additional”

You will be seen whereas working remotely, however it’s essential to put your model on the market.  It’s not bragging – it’s giving context. How will anybody know what you’re about, what abilities and expertise you deliver to desk, if you happen to’re not advertising your self? 

Preserve your supervisor within the loop with brief weekly updates. Getting that standing one-on-one assembly on their calendar is visibility gold! Present them with clear deadlines and early heads-ups. You by no means need your supervisor to be caught off-guard or stunned by one thing that might have been communicated sooner. Talking of proactiveness, make certain to let your supervisor know what it’s essential to achieve success (assets, choices, readability).

The bottom line is to be sure you steadiness your presence with out being performative. 

Construct a Rhythm of Connection

Loads of shoppers ask me, “How a lot connection is an excessive amount of reference to my supervisor?” It relies upon, but it surely doesn’t harm to Present Your Ask and advocate for time with them.

Merely asking them what works greatest for the each of you possibly can work.  In the event that they’re stumped, you possibly can provide some easy cadence choices which will work:

• Weekly or biweekly one-on-one conferences

• Month-to-month “pulse checks”

• Quarterly “How are we working collectively?” conversations

Folks handle individuals, not duties – and relationships want watering.  If you’d like this relationship to flourish, it’s essential to guarantee it is a precedence for each of you. 

Talk with Emotional Intelligence

You’re going to want to steer with transparency. Share what you’re engaged on, what you might be getting caught on, and what would unlock issues for you.

Micro-phrases which have labored nicely for me as I labored and led in distant settings have been:

• “Earlier than this will get too far, I’d love your insights on _____.”

• “Right here’s what I’m recommending – does this align with the way you’d strategy it?”

• “How can I higher anticipate what you want from me?”

Create Your Personal ‘Presence’ Even When You’re Not In-Particular person

There are at all times methods to humanize your relationship remotely. This works for everybody. Sure, even if you happen to’re an introvert. 

• Put your digicam on when it counts. Particularly once you’re giving and receiving suggestions.

• Having two-minute check-ins that aren’t simply standing updates

• Celebrating wins

• Leaders deliver options to the desk, not issues. Provide concepts. Don’t wait to be requested.

Simply do not forget that being quiet doesn’t equal invisible – however silence will be misinterpreted. We would like you to shine the brightest even once you’re not bodily in your supervisor’s orbit.

I’ve been asking you to handle up. It is a key to profession success, my pal! 

Teaching upwards remotely isn’t manipulation – it’s collaboration.  

I used to be part of a number of top-performing groups as a direct report and as their chief – and the important thing consider these groups’ successes was my want to make it profitable in my very own manner.  I curated the profession I needed, whatever the proximity to my workforce mates and supervisor.  

You deserve a stable relationship together with your supervisor, even if you happen to by no means share the identical zip code.  Present Your Ask, honor your boundaries, and see the dynamic shift happen! 

You bought this!

Yours actually,

Your Fairygodmentor®

About Joyel Crawford:

Joyel Crawford, Fairygodmentor, Ask Your Fairygodmentor, Column
(Picture courtesy of Kirsten White Pictures)

Joyel Crawford is an award-winning profession and management growth skilled and founding father of Crawford Management Methods, a consultancy that empowers results-driven leaders via teaching, coaching, and facilitation. She’s the best-selling writer of Present Your Ask: Utilizing Your Voice to Advocate for Your self and Your Profession.

Have a query for Your Fairygodmentor®?

Submit your profession and management questions, whether or not it’s about navigating a micromanager, setting boundaries, negotiating for a elevate, or dealing with burnout. Ask Your Fairygodmentor® at present!

RELATED CONTENT: Ask Your Fairygodmentor: Suggestions That Stings Can Additionally Save You



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